• Life Aligning

Are your motives for or against you (friend or foe)?



What is your motive?

Your state of decision and indecision is never the same twice, even for the same issue, and can appear one way to you one day quite differently another. At any point in the process, you may not necessarily know the outcome.

In certain arenas of life, your motive(s) for choosing one option over another could feel really clear. Are they really clear to you consciously though? Probably not. A flurry of memories, thoughts and neural connections converge to declare your next move or step. Why not get to know them?

Let’s consider the following example (and notice your first reaction/impression!): You have a decision to make today! Option #1: which shoes to purchase, and Option #2: to take your car in for a tune-up. Which will it be?

On average, most people will find far greater enjoyment in purchasing a pair of shoes. Why? Buying a pair of shoes has more personal appeal long-term and likely to offer more purchase incentives from the store. A tune-up just doesn’t offer the same enduring, enjoyment features to most people.

Something is always influencing you towards or against any given decision. This defines motive. A positive motive is expressed in a way so you can possess something wanted and/or experience something desired. The opposite is true for a negative motive; you are choosing against an option to avoid something unpleasant/undesirable.

Which of the following options sounds more satisfying to you? 1. A gorgeous flattering blouse at 40% off that promotes feminine comfort during a pandemic on or off the couch/Zoom, or 2. buying veggies that will allow you to increase your fiber intake and lower your cholesterol so that you can potentially avert or delay a stroke?

Notice those super-sonic impressions & reactions rushing through you as you consider whatever decision presented.

Oh, and what about the decision to exercise or not on - ‘exercise day’? Which motive is your typical modus operandi? 1. exercise today to look great and bank points for your long-term heart health, or 2. not exercise because you hate feeling sore for days afterwards.

This is where an internal trend develops. It is called motivational intensity.


In which direction are most of your choices? Are they mostly FOR or AGAINST? Even when you are describing your decisions, do you mostly describe them in positive terms for what you desire or against something?

Practice slowing down a wee bit and pay attention to more of the decisions you make throughout your day.

Ask yourself the following questions to make truly educated decisions:

  1. Which choice supports who I want to be, or what decision will support who I want to be?

  2. Am I making a choice/this decision for or against myself?